growing up diaries 02

 

Today I'm gonna be talking about potential.

I wanted to make that into a post when I saw a post a few days earlier -

"The only thing I'm scared of is reaching my full potential"

And in a lot of ways, this applies to me and I guess the majority of young people.

The idea of being my "best" self scares me, because it is limited. If i never try to reach my full potential, I would never have to face the fact that it may not be enough for my or others expectations. 

Growing up I constantly was told: "You have so much potential, you just got to be more concentrated. You are very promising, what would happen, if you would study more?" 

Well, I don't know. but apparently everybody thought there was this secret genius inside of me which will be unlocked if I would actually start to do my homework more often.

And i liked this idea. That there is this smarter, better version of myself, which would rock at life.

But it never as my intention to BE that version, because I couldn't even know if it exists or not. I was scared that it wasn't there, and that when I would really give my best, it wouldn't be enough. That I would be normal, without my promising flair about me.

And it was so wrong to stick to that, rather than seeing, what I could actually become. I would rather be a potential genius than a real one. 

And let me tell you, when that realization hit me, my whole world was (again) falling apart. 

First thing I had to realize was, that grades and generally numbers do NOT determine my worth, my potential. I'm still struggling with that, because it feels like my intelligence gets rated. And if my grade sucked, i would feel like a worthless piece of shit. But school does not determine how smart you are, this gets determined by how much importance you give it. (That applies to literally everything)

But when you erase school from your list what your potential is based on, you got to think a lot harder to determine what it really is. 

So aks yourself,

What do you base your worth on?

What does reaching your "full potential" mean to you?

And take the steps into this direction.

But that wasn't it. 

Because being your "best self" is shit.

 You will never get to a state where everything in your life is perfectly figured out, and you possess enough knowledge and life experience so that you can say : "I'm done now!"

 I don't want to be done!

 I always want to find new things to excite me, build my knowledge and get even more potential with every second I live. Use what you already have to expand youself in every possible direction, and don't be scared that you aren't enough. You should rather worry about not seeing, loving, appreciating and growing enough. Because irrational fears like this can cost you a lifetime of fun. So always aim to be better (in your own definition) and not your best. 

IF your work for this one  unreachable goal, you will miss your whole life.

And one last thing- I think that morals and character are the most important base for you in order to grow. Whatever using your potential means to you, there is a basic aspect about it, and that's being active. In order for you to grow personally, you got to stay informed about what is happening in the world and what you will be doing to change something. 

What do you believe in?

What do you do to support this cause?

Do you do selfless things, even if they make you uncomfortable? (Please don't degrade yourself for the wrong people ever!)

Do you expand your knowlegde by educating youself from the viewpoints of other people (especially minorities, POC's, disabled people, the LGTBQ+ community)?

Keep growing, and see your existence like a roadtrip without a destination. You don't have to have any goal, just keep driving. And by picking up as much as possible during the way, you're using your potential in the right way. In the way of being a clever, good human being!